...oh, you know the rest of the lyrics and Pete was right.

D; I'm cranky. Yes, I'm very cranky. I'm cranky and I'm barely into my second week of vacations. That's how much I fucking suck. If you want to skip the paragraph, just go ahead and read the TL;DR thing.

The largest portion of my plans for the summer are dead because the folks decided to be butt-hurt and cancel all the plans at the last minute. So now I feel like a fucking failure. Why? Because this kind of thing always happens. I plan something out carefully and I become very thrilled and excited. But then, for some magical reason, some force decides that its a fucking good idea to bring something up or to piss someone off and then my plans have to be canceled. I really have only had a few plans go right. I'm not saying this because I"m pissed, I'm saying this because its true. Almost every plan, that I have had with acquaintances or friends usually end up fucked. Its either because my friends decided to do something stupid and then they get punished or because I decided to do something stupid and get punished. I think I might have strayed from the main topic, but what I'm trying to do here is whine and complain about how I might just be destined to be stranded at home and have no other life outside of school.

But what about your friends...you could hang out with them? amirite?

Do I have friends? No. I don't. Why? Because for some reason, at an early age, I decided to be a strange, isolated, anti-social fuck who no one liked. Of course, I decided to carry that all the way through high school and look, I can barely say that I have any friends. HA! That is saying too much. The only two that I have, have somewhat of a life. One of them has a JOB (a topic that I will soon get to) and the other one has PLANS. Meanwhile I sit  here and fucking sulk and write about all my dead plans in front of a computer screen.

I would ask people to hang out with me, but I'd rather not ask because if I make any more plans, they will most likely fail.

Oh and on top of all this, for some reason once again I stopped drawing for a while and now I don't seem to be able to draw shit. What is wrong with me?

I need to look for a job and stop being so useless. Seriously, complaining is going to get me no fucking where.

TL;DR:
My plans never go well and they usually end up dead. I have no friends, no life, I'm useless, I'm pessimistic and I need to fucking get a job. I fail at life.

--Jesi

My first day of summer vacations was yesterday. I didn't do much really. I woke up at nine, vacuumed, sat in front of the computer for three hours, went back to bed at twelve, woke up at four, sat in front of the computer and ate. That sounds like the schedule of a fat man in his twenties who lives in his mum's basement. Well, I've got the fat male thing down (I have the body of a fat ten year old boy, excluding the penis). I just need a basement. I'm pathetic.

I came to realize that I really like skinny pale boys with wavy, dark brown hair (like Syd Barrett?). I think they're rather gorgeous. I wonder where I can find one...

I'm going through a Pink Floyd phase at the moment, but I cant' bring myself to listen to them. I think its mostly because I used to listen to Pink Floyd exclusively when I was upset. Its a psychological thing, not that the Pink Floyd sound is sad, but for some reason, I find the whole story behind them rather upsetting. The idea of Syd Barrett being deserted by his band makes me think about my relationships with people. I don't think I have any tight bonds with anyone.
I'm not sure if its just me, but I'm afraid of being close to people. I'm well aware that I already have somewhat close bonds with my family, but I think that my family and I don't really relate or connect or anything. It feels as if I had just been tossed into this random assortment of people who I have almost nothing in common. Back to the point, I just don't think its safe to be close to people. Its not because I know that I will probably stop communicating with these people in a few years. I should stop speaking, I'm not old enough. Then again, I like thinking negatively rather than positively.

My childish mind likes to think that Syd Barrett still roams London at night. Along with Keith Moon and several other dead musicians. They have extravagant and eccentric parties and snort cocaine and chew on mushrooms. Oh, and they sell ghosts too. How facinating.

Here are the highlights of my summer:
-Attend a party on Saturday.
-Leave for Mexico around June 20th (road trip? yes.)
-Leave Mexico around July 14th (road trip? yes)
-Art project with Haleyfacee

That's all I have.
People are silly.

--Jesi

So, it has been almost a year since my only friend moved and since I moved. For some reason, it just hit me that I will probably never have a best friend again. Let's face it, I'm not the most social person on the planet unless I have to be or I'm some kind of drug. That's the truth.

I have a few sketchbooks due and a final project in art. Oh and my 'elongated' self portrait was on the art exhibit thing at our school. Frankly, I hated working on the self-portrait. Not only was it tedious and boring, but it was awful to have to work with a picture of my face in front of me. As if I didn't have to look at it enough already. I have always disliked self-portraits, they've never been my thing.

Apparently the reason I couldn't find my face jug was because my art teacher had it in the display case. Mr. Fancy Monocle Face is resting on my desk.

I think my painting skills have gotten slightly better.

Oh there's a new Reno 911, and I must watch.

--Jesi

 Apparently, I haven't learned that drinking over one cup of coffee and taking a migraine pill can kill me. Well, not kill me, but make me begin to shake uncontrollably and make my stomach churn and yell at me in a non-verbal way. I've been through this situation many times, but none has been as painful as this. I just don't know why I do it. Well, I do actually. Its pretty ridiculous. I did it yesterday because I thought that it would be a good idea to drink some coffee while writing my paper. I also feared that my head was beginning to hurt, so I was like, "Hey, why don't I just take an Excedrin." So, I over did it on the coffee and now I feel like I'm going to die. The good news is, I finished my paper (and hopefully I won't get owned by my English teacher's red pen D:) Regardless of this feeling, I'm still going to head to school this morning because I'm excited my art class.

I've been obsessing over robots and this silly anime for a while. Almost two weeks. It started because my friend, who is very into anime, was telling me that I should try some. Anime really hasn't ever been my thing. I don't dislike it, but I'm not a huge fan. Regardless, I decided to dive into the current anime that he was watching and it was pretty enjoyable. The first two episodes anyway, the next just bored me. Supposedly the fifth one is supposed to be really funny but, I haven't watched it yet. However, there was one anime that I had watched on Adult Swim once at around 3. am. This one was FLCL, it's pretty much animation on crack. That's all. It is a very nice crack animation though. If you haven't seen it.

Oh, and by the way, the soundtrack to FLCL is heavenly. It really is. I usually don't like diving into sound tracks, but this one is quite nice. For some reason the word "soundtrack" makes me feel like a cheap whore. Its strange.

So, about a week ago, I decided that I should re-watch The Kids Are Alright. I hadn't seen it in a very long time (since last summer). I realized that I absolutely adore the Who's version of "Roadrunner."

I like remembering my dreams. I don't really know why, but I think I like my dreams more than my real life. Its not really because my dreams are more organized and less manic than my real life, because they're not, but its because my dreams are so colourful. I'm not sure if colourful is the most appropriate word, but my dreams have nice colour schemes. Since I like remembering my dreams, I decided to write small descriptions of them in my notebooks. I realized that I dream most about water and stairs. I just thought that was somewhat interesting. The story ends there.

I should go brush my teeth and get ready to die at school. My stomach is still in great pain.

--Jesi




 

Good morning campers!

Well, I wont' be on the computer for long, but I decided it would be nice to share this with you.

FUNNY GRAFFITI SIGNS

SIX SUCKY THINGS ABOUT SPRING




I have a school to get to. So long!

--Jesi